A Blogoversary Celebration!! :D

Hello, my dearest readers!  Today is a very special day.  I can hardly believe that two years ago today I launched this blog, and that right around three years ago I started contributing to Tess and Maggie's blog.  The time has flown by so quickly, and so much has changed!

I have so much to share with all of you about what's been going on over the past few weeks, but I wanted to take the time to celebrate this special occasion. :)

To commemorate my accomplishment, Beast'sbelle insisted on a photo shoot (you know how she is). ;)  She gathered my friends and we all got together to take some pictures.  I hope you enjoy these shots of the faces you've come to know and love over the past few years. :)

Here we all are, gathered together for a group photo.  Of course, there are many missing from our midst who have moved on over the years: Tiana, Isabella, and more.  This is our core group now. :}

Rapunzel was very sweet and let me borrow her super fancy dress since it was such a special occasion.  I don't think she's actually worn it other than that one day.  It is pretty stiff and itchy, so I can't say that I blame her.  I couldn't wait to get it off after the pictures were done. ;)

Eugene and Rapunzel with their sweet little family.  Well...I guess their family's not so little, but you know what I mean. ;)  Rapunzel was getting pretty frazzled trying to keep four kids sitting still for pictures (any moms out there will be able to sympathize). ;)  Oh, and you'll notice that even Pascal made an appearance. :)

Here is Ben, the doll I thought I should be with for all my days.  Funny how things change. ;)  I really hate to show you these pictures when I'm not caught up on things...talk about major spoilers!!  As you can probably tell from the pics, though, Ben and Paige are quite serious, both in personality and in their relationship.  (Hee hee...I just couldn't resist!) ;)

They're so cute together!  I promise I'll give you the whole story soon!! ;)

Here I am with the two most important dolls in my life. ;) 

Eugene and Rapunzel got to pose for a nice couple picture, too.

Thomas agreed to keep an eye on his younger sisters while they did so.

He's such a good older brother! ;)

And of course, Rapunzel and I needed a picture together.  She's been such a dear friend to me throughout all of the crazy events of the past few years.  

I honestly don't know what I'd do without her friendship. :)

Beast'sbelle thought we should get a mother/daughter picture, too.  :)

The men of Belle's Bulletins. ;)

So, as most of you should know by now, Belle's Bulletins is drawing to a close.  I've already gone into my reasons in an earlier post, so I won't repeat them here.  The blog will continue for at least a couple more weeks (more on that in a moment).  While it will be strange to stop sharing everything important that happens here on the blog, I know I'm making the right choice.  It's time for me to move on and spend more time with my family and friends and less time stressing over blog posts. :}  I plan on continuing to update my Facebook page every once in a while, so you'll be able to check out what I'm up to over there.  And for those of you who have expressed concern over this, I will keep my blog open so that everyone can continue to read my past posts. :)

Now on to something fun. :)  Per one of my readers' suggestions, we are going to do something very special here at Belle's Bulletins to go out with a bang, so to speak. ;)  Two weeks from today, I will publish an interview post with questions from our readers.  Several of my friends have agreed to be part of a special Belle's Bulletins Panel.  You, my readers, can ask any (appropriate, of course) question of any of the dolls participating!  Here are the participants:

-Belle (me!) ;)

-Robby

-Emilie

-Eugene

-Rapunzel

-Ben

To ask a question, simply leave it in the comments below.  In two weeks, we'll put up the post with all of our answers. :)

If you happen to have a question for someone not included in the panel list, go ahead and leave it in the comments and tell us who the question is for.  I'll do my best to get an answer for you. ;)

I had originally planned to give a big, heartfelt thank you speech now, but I find I'm not quite ready.  I think I'll save it for my very last post instead. :}

I'll talk to you again soon, dearest readers.  I can't wait to see the questions you leave for us! :)

P.S.  I almost forgot!  Since I'm putting up a special blogoversary header, I wanted to include my old header here:

Rapunzel's New Family Members

Okay, more backlog to clear. :}  Let's see, we're up to mid-May.  

I briefly introduced you to Rapunzel and Eugene's new family members in my last post.  Shortly after Lily found her new home, my friend came over to let us formally meet their children.  

You'll also remember that I mentioned our new "room"?  You'll see pictures of it in this post.  I'm trying not to get too attached, since Beast'sbelle is so very fond of rearranging and often does so at a moment's notice. For now, though, Robby, Emilie and I are enjoying our little shelf.  It's snug and comfy and just right for the three of us. :)  Beast'sbelle even put up some white Christmas lights to make the room a little brighter. 

But back to the story. ;)  Eugene and Rapunzel arrived slightly later than the arranged time, but with four children to get ready you can hardly blame them. ;)  I was so happy to see my friend.  She'd been very busy adjusting to the changes and we hadn't spoken in nearly a week.

Emilie sat in Robby's lap at first, a little shy of the new children.  She seemed especially shy of Thomas.  She sat "safely" with her father and stroked her puppy Toto's fur.  (I mentioned her puppy in my last post as well, didn't I?  He's named Toto after the dog in "The Wizard of Oz" since he looks so much like him.) :)

Interestingly enough, Thomas seemed rather shy himself.  He stood behind Eugene almost the entire time and didn't speak a word.

He was so cute with his little buzz cut and his miniature tuxedo.  I had to resist the urge to rush over and give him a hug. ;)  I doubt he would have appreciated it, especially coming from a complete stranger. :}

After a while, though, I forgot everything else and focused on catching up with my best friend.  

"So, how have you been?" I asked her.

She laughed.  "Well, it's certainly been an adjustment going from two kids to four, but we're making it."

I looked at the two children she juggled in her lap and noticed the adorable way that Becca was making Emma laugh.

"Have you managed to get any sleep?" I asked.

"Surprisingly, yes!" Rapunzel replied.  "The younger two are already pretty established in their sleep routines, and Thomas and Becca haven't had any problems."  She giggled.  "I guess that's the good thing about starting with the younger ones and going to older children after that.  Our first few nights with Thomas and Becca were so much easier than our first few nights with the younger ones, especially Emma!"

"Oh, I remember!" I agreed, thinking back to how fussy Emma had been when she first arrived.

"Another great thing is my new LIV body," Rapunzel added.  "My arm and wrist joints are much more suited to holding children now."

I didn't quite know what to say.  The whole body swap thing was still a rather surreal subject to me.  It didn't bother me as much as it had in the beginning, but I still didn't like to think about it.  Especially since I couldn't help but wonder if someday that might be what the future held for me.  I was glad that my friend seemed to have reconciled herself to it, though.

We moved on to other topics that would be boring to relate to you word-for-word.  Things like what type of schedule Rapunzel had the children on (I always felt rather guilty when we discussed this...aside from a scheduled bedtime, Emilie was pretty free of structure.), how busy they were all the time, and how warm the weather had been lately.

All too soon, it was time for them to leave.  Rapunzel had warned me ahead of time that the first visit would be a short one.  She wanted to give Becca and especially Thomas, who was painfully shy, some time to get used to things before they spent a lot of time with others.  I understood, but still couldn't help the sadness that washed over me as my friend started gathering her family.  I'd gotten spoiled spending so much time on the same shelf with Rapunzel and Eugene.  I didn't like being separated from them.  Of course, the privacy was nice, but I felt so disconnected from them.

Robby, being the gentleman that he is, stood up as they left.  Emilie stood in front of him, still clinging to Toto.  She didn't wave, but did smile for "Uncle Eugene and Aunt Rapunzel". 

As they stood at the threshold, waving goodbye, I took the opportunity to admire how adorable they looked as a little family unit.  Rapunzel cuddled Becca and Emma in her arms.  Abby was snuggled up like a little papoose in Eugene's satchel.  Thomas was giving us a shy little wave.

I loved the way Eugene had his arm protectively on Thomas' shoulder.  As they turned to go, Thomas looked up at him.  He must have smiled, for Eugene's chest swelled up and he beamed with pride.  It was fun to see him so endearing with his son.  I hoped that everything would work out for Thomas and Becca to stay with them forever.  I wasn't looking forward to the heartache they would face if the children found other homes like Lily had.

A giggling noise from Becca interrupted my thoughts.  She was squirming all around, trying to escape Rapunzel's grasp.

"See you in a week?" Rapunzel asked as she hoisted the slippery Becca up on her hip again.

I nodded.  Rapunzel and Eugene had agreed to watch Emilie for our anniversary so that Robby and I could celebrate, just the two of us.  (I know, it's absolutely horrible that it's taken me this long to post about it!  Our anniversary was Saturday, May 25th, for those of you who don't remember.  And I TOLD myself I was going to be organized and get it on here shortly after, or do some sort of lovely mushy post for Robby.  Sigh.)

(Oh, and since I didn't feel horrid enough, when Beast'sbelle read this, she reminded me that I had forgotten to mention Rapunzel and Eugene's second anniversary on February 21st entirely.  Thanks, Beast'sbelle.  I needed some lemon juice for my paper cut.) :{

Right before she left, Rapunzel gave me a special smile over Becca's head.  I knew my friend must be missing our late night chats and our former closeness as well.  I suppose that's the way things go, though.  Human or doll, we all have different seasons of our life that pass and change to something else.  

I almost laughed at my dramatic thoughts.  It wasn't like I would never see Rapunzel again.  She was just across the room.  How Robby would have teased me if he had known. :}

Thinking of Robby made me look up at my handsome husband of almost one year.  I couldn't believe how quickly the time had passed.  I was so grateful for his love and the way he treasured Emilie and me.

As I watched him wave to our friends, I wondered if he would ever want more children than just Emilie.  Since we'd started the parenthood thing so much earlier than we'd planned, I hadn't given it much thought.  It was enough of a change just getting used to one child.  I couldn't imagine adding any more...definitely not three more like Rapunzel and Eugene!  Still, I supposed if we wanted to find a sibling for Emilie, we should think about it soon.  We didn't want her getting too spoiled as an only child.  

The thought of adding to our family suddenly overwhelmed me, and I pushed it aside.  I got to my feet to check Beast'sbelle's alarm clock.  It should be nearly time for Emilie to get to bed.

"Mommy?" Emilie was suddenly beside me.  I smiled.  I never tired of hearing her call me that.

"Yes, sweetie?" I responded.

"Is it bedtime yet, or do I have a few minutes to play?" She looked up at me with hopeful eyes.

I glanced over at the alarm clock.  Technically it was bedtime, but surely a few minutes of playtime wouldn't kill her.  I caught Robby's eye and he gave me a little smile.  We were both such softies.

"You may play for just five minutes," I told her.

"Thank you, Mommy!" she said happily.  She plopped down in front of the dresser and cuddled with Toto, singing him a sweet little made-up song.    

I always found myself fascinated with Emilie's lovely little voice.  She sounded like an angel.  It was Emilie who should have been the Disney princess doll, not me.

My husband was suddenly beside me.  "Hello, wife of mine," he said playfully.

"Hello, husband of mine," I retorted with a grin.  Then I grew serious.  "Can you believe it's already been almost one year since we've been married?"  

He smiled tenderly.  "It's flown by, but I've loved every minute."

"Every minute?" I teased him.  "Even when I've been unbearable?"

He pretended to think this over.  "Okay, I suppose I've loved almost every minute."

I swatted at him playfully, and he took me in his arms and kissed me.

I pulled away, giggling in embarrassment.  "Robby, Emilie is right there," I reminded him with a whisper.

His lips found my cheek.  "She'll get over it," he whispered humorously.  "It's nothing she hasn't seen from us before."

He took my hand.  "So, do you have any plans for next Saturday?"

I grinned again.  "Why?  Did you have something in mind?"

He took a deep breath as if he was nervous.  "Well, I was kind of wondering if you wanted to go out with me."  His eyes flickered playfully, betraying his true feelings.

I gave a nonchalant yawn.  "I'll have to check my calendar," I said casually.

He ducked his head, hiding a smile.  "I hope you can fit me in.  I'd really, really like to spend some time with you."

Then his hand had cupped my chin, and all signs of teasing were gone.  There was a fire in his eyes that I hadn't seen in a long time.  "I wish today was Saturday," he confided in a warm voice.

I couldn't resist.  "Um, it is Saturday, dearest," I said innocently.

He smiled half a smile and shook his head at my little joke.  "I meant next Saturday, which I think you knew."

I kissed his nose.  "I did," I admitted with a grin.  "I just couldn't resist being bratty."

He rolled his eyes.  "Tell me about it."

I slapped his shoulder indignantly.  "Excuse me?"

"Ow," he whined, rubbing his shoulder.  "What's with the spousal abuse?"

"Har, har," I said dryly.  

And then we both stopped our ridiculous banter.  Robby wrapped his arms around me and I leaned my head against his shoulder, where it felt just right.  I drank in the unique smell of his plastic (much better than that cologne stuff that human men use).  This was where I belonged.  I was so excited that our anniversary was so soon...and I couldn't wait to share the rest of my life with this doll.  Suddenly, I wanted nothing more than to be alone with him.

Now that I thought about it, next Saturday did seem awfully far away. :}

A Glimmer of Bittersweet Hope

This past week was torturous.  I can't even describe how emotionally drained I feel right now.  Thank you for all of your kind comments, dear readers.  They've helped me carry on.

Things were pretty quiet after Emilie's sudden departure, aside from some rearranging of our curio top by Beast'sbelle.  I'm not sure why she thought this week was the best week to start moving things around, but as we all know, sound judgement does not appear to be her strong suite. 

I'm sorry, I really should stop that.  I'm angry at her, but I don't need to be unfair.  She's tried to talk to me several times this week, but I haven't been ready to sit down for a heart to heart just yet.  After yesterday, though, I find my resolve is weakening.  A little.

But I'm getting ahead of myself!

Eugene and Rapunzel felt our pain, but there wasn't much they could do.  They tried to be available when we needed them and give us some space when we needed that more.  Yesterday was one of those days, so early in the afternoon, Eugene and Rapunzel took their girls for a walk to the living room.  (With school back in session, we have a little more freedom to wander around the house, as long as we listen for the car pulling in the driveway and have plenty of time to get back to our places.)

Robby and I had been sitting quietly together for a few moments when he leaned over.  "Do you need anything?  Lunch?  A book to read?"

I shook my head, trying to not feel angry at his simple question.  The only thing I needed was Emilie, thank you very much!  Then I felt a twinge of my conscience at my rude thoughts.  I rubbed my head and looked away from my husband.

"What is it?" he asked gently.

I sighed.  "I just...I feel so foolish," I admitted.  "This week has been really hard..." My voice broke, and I took a moment to regain my composure before I continued.  "But I'm beginning to realize that I was part of the problem, just like Ella told me in the comments on the blog."

Robby wisely remained silent and let me continue.

"I'm still angry at Beast'sbelle," I stated firmly, feeling a surge of anger just saying the words.  "I think she grossly misjudged the situation and put us all in a horrible position with her thoughtlessness."  I paused.  "But...if I wouldn't have been so quick to assume that she was trying to force us into parenthood, if I would have just taken her words at face value...I still probably would have gotten attached to Emilie, and it still would have been hard, but I would have constantly had the fact that she was for someone else in the back of my mind.  I don't know, maybe it would have helped, at least a little bit."

"I'm afraid I got a bit carried away myself," Robby admitted.

I hid a smile at the thought of my steady husband getting "carried away", but I knew what he meant.

"She was one special little gal," he continued.  "We connected on a level that I didn't think was possible.  But that wasn't Beast'sbelle's fault."

He took my hand.  "I wish you'd talk to her, sweetheart.  She wants nothing more than to make things right."

I gently pulled away from him, pretending to fix the hem of my dress so I wouldn't hurt his feelings.  "I know, Robby, but I just can't yet.  I'm still too mad.  She should have known what this would lead to.  She should have..."

I was interrupted by the noise of someone clearing their throat behind us.  Robby and I both turned to see who it was.

At the end of the curio, just where Emilie had stood last week when she said goodbye, was a doll I'd never seen before.  

She had dark brown hair and a kind-looking face that, at the moment, seemed pinched and worried.  I also noticed that she was wearing the dress that Rapunzel had worn to my wedding.  I wondered if Beast'sbelle had asked her to lend it for the festivities.  (I know, a random thought in the middle of such a strange situation, but haven't any of you ever done that?)

The doll looked nervous at the sight of the two of us gaping at her.  

"I'm sorry to bother you," she said softly, "but are you...Belle and Robby?"

"Yes," I responded curiously.  

Robby slowly raised himself up to a standing position.  He believed in the importance of acting like a gentleman, especially when there was a new doll in the room.

"I'm Faith," the doll went on, rubbing her hands together nervously.  "Emilie's...well...Mrs. H found Emilie for us."

Robby and I both froze at the same time.  So this was Emilie's adopted mother.  Then I wrinkled my nose.  "Mrs. H?"

"Yes," Faith said, nodding.  "You know, the mistress of the house?  I believe you call her 'Beast'sbelle'."

I supposed it would be rather silly for a Barbie to call Beast'sbelle by the name we called her, but still...Mrs. H?  It made her sound ancient!

I didn't have time to muse over that, though.  What on earth could Faith want from us?

"Won't you have a seat?" I asked her politely, scooting over so she had room by the Princess tin that now took up a portion of our curio top.

Faith nodded and gingerly sat where I had been.

Robby sat down next to me again and put his arm around me.  Faith couldn't seem to look at us.  I glanced over at Robby and saw the same curiosity in his face that I knew must be in mine.  What was she doing here?

Several moments passed, and still our visitor said nothing.  I decided to break the ice, or address the elephant in the room, as you humans like to say.

"How..." I paused.  I hadn't thought my question would be so difficult.  "How is Emilie?"

Faith finally turned toward us at my words.  Her eyes looked strangely dull.  "Emilie is...having a hard time." Each word seemed to pain her.

"What do you mean?" Robby asked, his voice full of concern.

Faith sighed and began fiddling with the material on her skirt.  "This is so hard.  I'm sorry...it's been a very rough week." She looked up at us with sympathy.  "I know it's been a difficult week for you as well."  Her eyes went back to her hands.  "The truth is, Emilie is not doing well.  She won't eat, she can't sleep, she refuses to let go of Posy, her fuzzy rabbit."

Faith took a moment to wipe her eyes.  Her voice trembled when she continued.  "She cries constantly.  We've done everything we can to make her feel welcome, but nothing seems to help."

I wasn't sure what to think at this news.  A very small part of me was overjoyed that Robby and I obviously meant so much to Emilie, but that joy was quickly overshadowed by concern for Emilie's well-being and compassion for the doll before me.  Faith looked like she'd had just as horrid of a week as I'd had.

"Now I know," Faith continued, taking a deep breath, "that she will eventually adjust.  We can provide her with a good home and an older sister who loves her already."  Her face crinkled up at this last part, and she had to wait a moment before she could go on.  "But we want what's best for Emilie."  She managed a smile that was almost a grimace from the effort of keeping back tears.  "She talks about you two constantly.  It seems she formed a very special bond with you."  

Faith took another moment.  "I'm sorry," she half laughed, half sobbed.  "This is one of the hardest things I've had to do, but I'll get it all out eventually."

I didn't know what to say, so I just sat and waited.

"Mrs. H explained what happened with you two and Emilie to me," Faith said slowly.  "She knew I needed to be aware of the situation in case Emilie had a hard time dealing with it."  She looked off into the distance.  "I've never seen Mrs. H so distraught.  She feels horrible about the whole situation."  She brushed back a stray strand of brown hair.  "I remember how long we waited for our first daughter, and the joy we felt when Beast'sbelle finally found her for us.  I can't imagine how hard it would have been to have her taken away just  as we were getting to know and love her so much.  I know you two weren't looking for a daughter, but I can understand how Emilie would have stolen your hearts...and then she was taken from you."  She shook her head.  "The point is, I want what's best for Emilie, not me...and I think the best thing would be for her to...to come back and stay with you."  The last words ended in a sob.

I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself.  Of course, I wanted Emilie back!  I wanted what was best for her, too.  And I can't even tell you how many times I plotted and schemed about ways to get her away from her new family in the privacy of my thoughts.  But thinking of some random Barbie family that had her instead and seeing this sweet, broken doll before me who actually was part of her new family were two very different things.  For the first time since everything had happened, I thought of things from their point of view. How long had they waited for Beast'sbelle to find them another daughter?  How horrible it must be to have the little one you'd waited for for so long do nothing but talk about the couple she'd been with before.

I glanced over at Robby, wondering what he thought.  I could see the sorrow and compassion in his eyes, the same hesitancy to gain from this doll's misery.  What could we do?

 

And then it hit me.  I cleared my throat nervously.  "Faith, Robby and I love Emilie with all our hearts, but we want what's best for her too.  I think it should be her decision."  I could tell by the gentle squeeze Robby gave me that he approved.

Then my husband added, "We need to make it as easy as possible for her, though.  Maybe Beast'sbelle would be willing to talk to her without any of us around.  We don't want her to feel pressured into making a decision either way, and I think having us there when she was asked would be too hard for her."  

"That sounds reasonable," Faith agreed, wiping her eyes once more.  "I'll see if Mrs. H...I mean, Beast'sbelle would be willing to talk to her."

She slowly got to her feet.  "I should be getting back.  Will and the girls will be worried about me.  Thank you for your time."

And without another word, she turned and started for the edge of the curio.  There was such a solemn, dismal look to her posture that my heart went out to her.  Really, if things continued in this fashion, it was very likely that Emilie would be coming back to us, and Faith knew it.

I jumped up from my spot, rushed over, and tapped her shoulder.  "Faith?"

She turned.  "Yes?"

Now that I was here, I'd suddenly run out of words.  "I...I just wanted to thank you.  I know how hard that must have been."

Faith nodded.  "This has been a horrid situation for all of us, I think."

On impulse, I sprang forward and gave her a hug.  I know it was a bit forward of me, but I just felt so sorry for her, so grateful for her sacrifice, so worried about the outcome, and so connected to her through our shared sorrow, that it all came out in a hug.

She seemed a bit shocked by my behavior at first, but within moments, she hugged me back.  For a moment, we were just two dolls, hurting and drawing comfort from each other, without the complication of our situation.

The moment passed, but I had a feeling that Faith and I would always have a special connection after this.  My new friend waved as she left.  "I'll let you know what Beast'sbelle says," she told us as she swung over the edge.

After she left, I made my way back to Robby.  He took me into his lap and stroked my cheek tenderly.  "I'm so proud of the way you handled that," he said.

"I feel so muddled right now I'm not even sure of myself," I admitted.  "I never really thought of Emilie's new family until now.  I think they almost have it worse than we do!"

Robby nodded.  "It was very brave of her to make the offer she did."

I leaned over and put my head on his shoulder.  "I don't know if I could have handled the situation that gracefully...especially considering the way I've been moping and carrying on this week."

Robby played with the ends of my hair.  "It was a serious loss," he assured me.  "You had every right to be upset.  Just don't let bitterness and anger poison your thinking.  That's when you can't ever move on from the hardships you face."

"You make it look so easy," I grumbled playfully.

Robby shook his head, quite serious in spite of my teasing.  "I'm a long way from perfect, Belle.  I was very angry with Beast'sbelle too."

I remembered the set of his jaw and the look in his eyes on the day Emilie left.

"But Beast'sbelle's error was not intentional, and I know I'd want to be forgiven if I was in her shoes."

I sighed.  "Point taken, dear.  I know what I need to do...I just...I still need some time."

"Don't let it go too long," he whispered into my hair.  "You never know how long you have with the ones you love.  You can't let disputes and disagreements constantly get in the way of your relationships, or one day, you'll regret that you never got to make it right."

I knew my husband spoke wisely.  How could I, of all dolls, forget this lesson after I almost missed the chance to apologize to Robby after our first big argument?  But I'm ashamed to say that I needed time to think about his words.  I still didn't want to forgive Beast'sbelle...not yet.

In the meantime, I'd be waiting on pins and needles to hear what happened with our precious Emilie.  Although, even if she ended up coming back, I knew her return would be bittersweet.  I would know that our happiness was causing pain for another family. :(