Best Laid Plans

Oh my goodness, you have all been so patient with me...thank you.  I'm sorry that my grand plans of blogging more often haven't really worked out the way I planned.  

But enough apologizing.  It's quite pathetic that I start almost every post with an apology. :}

True to her word, as soon as Beast'sbelle was back and settled from her trip, she met with me to arrange a day and time for my special date with Robby.  Rapunzel and I selected the perfect spot and got everything ready.  Beast'sbelle picked a few roses from her backyard and even spread some petals all around "to add a nice romantic touch".  

I dressed in a new dress, put on my necklace from Robby, had Rapunzel do my hair, and then sent Emilie off with Rapunzel.  It was time to go get Robby.  Today, in the middle of a beautiful, romantic picnic together, I would sing for my husband.  I had it all planned out.  After we'd eaten, I would look deeply into his eyes and sing to him from my heart.  I had been practicing the "Healing Incantation" song from Disney's "Tangled" all week.  (I was going for short and uncomplicated.) :}  It still sounded horrible, I was sure, but I was determined to sing no matter how silly or scared I felt. 

I found Robby resting in one of our easy chairs in our sitting room.

Oh dear.  Forgive me this parenthetical photo shoot, but I just realized that you haven't seen our new house set up. :}

Here it is!  We still don't have any pictures up, but it's looking a lot more homey. :)

This is our sitting area.  We have our green shelf, two easy chairs, our coffee table and tea set, our beautiful new curio (a present from Beast'sbelle's dear friend's mom), and an extra chair for guests.

Our shelf is full of all sorts of trinkets and treasures. :)

The back of the shelf serves as a "wall" for Emilie's bedroom.  We're quite pleased with how her little room turned out.

Okay, now on to the story...really. :}  

Robby eyed me appreciatively as I came into the room. 

"Beautiful dress," he said.  "What's the occasion?"

"Um...it's a surprise," I told him shyly.  "You have to come with me."

He raised one brow but followed me obediently.

I led him all the way out to the living room.  There, on the tile section next to the front door, our picnic blanket was spread.

Robby put his arm around me.  "All this for me?" he teased.

I blushed and nodded.

We walked over to the blanket.  Beast'sbelle had sliced part of a Costco poppy seed muffin into small pieces just our size.  A candle was burning (and staying lit this time, unlike our outdoor anniversary picnic).  The rose petals scattered all around were a perfect touch.  Beast'sbelle had been right. :)

We sat down, and Robby watched me expectantly.  I realized then that I was used to him being the orchestrator in these situations.  

"Um, help yourself to some muffin cake," I offered awkwardly, picking a small portion off of my own slice.

He smiled and took some cake.  "Delicious," he said after taking a bite.

I nodded and absently toyed with some crumbs that had fallen to my plate.

Robby finished his cake contentedly while I sat there, too nervous to eat.  My plan had been to sing as soon as he was done eating.  That time was now.

But now that it came down to the moment, I felt nauseated.  I could see him watching me from my peripheral vision, which made me even more nervous.

I wet my lips, determined to work through this...and a sudden panic seized me.  I couldn't remember the words...at ALL.  I couldn't even remember what song I had planned on singing.

I looked away, searching frantically through my thoughts for even a snippet of a song, any song!  But my mind was a total blank.

That's when I felt Robby's hand take mine.

"Are you okay, Hon?" he asked kindly.  He looked down.  "Your hands are like little ice cubes!"

My face flamed again.  "I'm fine," I lied.  What were the words?!  I should be singing right now!!

Robby didn't look totally convinced.  In fact, he almost looked like he was in pain.  He kept scrunching his eyebrows every few moments.  He managed a smile, though.  "Thank you for this, Babe.  It's always nice getting a little together time."  He looked around.  "You put a lot of work into this.  Was there a special occasion I'm not remembering?" he asked again.

I looked into my husband's dear face and tried desperately to pull myself together.  "I...I just wanted to...to let you know how much I love you," I finished sadly.  I had failed...again.

Ordinarily, Robby would probably have noticed the tone of my voice and persisted with his interrogation, but he didn't say anything.  Worried that he was angry, I peeked over at him.  He was rubbing his forehead as if it was aching.

He slowly got to his feet.  "You know, this has been wonderful, but I have a bit of a headache, so I think I'll head back.  Would you like to join me?"

And then it hit me.  Of course!  The candle!!  Its fragrance always gave him a headache!  I'd been so preoccupied with my grand plans that I hadn't remembered.  Nice going, Belle, I thought to myself angrily.  This date was going from bad to worse.

"Um, you go on ahead," I said, fighting back tears.  "I think I'll stay here for a while."

He nodded and gave me half a smile.  His head was probably throbbing by now, but he was such a gentleman he'd never let on.

I watched him go, leaning heavily on his cane as he took the long walk back to our home.  Alone.  Without a song from his pathetic wife.

I don't know how long I sat there, alone in my gloomy and self-condemning thoughts.  But suddenly, Beast'sbelle was there next to me.

"So, how'd it go?" she asked slowly, obviously guessing from my demeanor that things hadn't been successful.

"Oh, perfectly!" I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm.  "Not only did I manage to completely blank on the song and find myself unable to sing even a note, but I also managed to give my husband a raging headache."

"Really?" Beast'sbelle asked.

"The candle," I said miserably.  "It gives him a headache, especially when we burn it indoors."

"I'm so sorry, Belle," Beast'sbelle offered with convincing sympathy.  "You worked so hard on this."

"I just wanted to do the only thing he's ever asked me for," I confessed.  "He wants me to sing to him...but I just can't!  No matter what I try, I always mess up or chicken out."  I picked up a rose petal and tossed it angrily.  "Why can't I just be like every other Disney Princess doll on the planet?!"

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Every other Disney Princess doll I know has a beautiful voice.  For them, singing is as natural as breathing!  Why did I have to be the oddball that missed out in the singing department?"  

"Being different isn't always bad," Beast'sbelle said slowly, "although it can be difficult."

"That's easy for you to say," I grumbled.  "I've heard you sing.  You're not tone deaf like me."

"No," Beast'sbelle admitted, "but I know what it's like to be different than others around you."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

She laughed.  "Well, you may not know this, but most humans my age don't have the equivalent of a doll and toy museum in their bedroom."

"Really?"  I was surprised at this.  I'd never been to any other human houses except that one family we visited in the summer, but I hadn't been in every room.  I'd just assumed that the doll room was one I hadn't visited.  "You mean, not everyone has a place for dolls to stay?"

Beast'sbelle shook her head.  "And some people think I'm really weird for having dolls stay with me."  Then she smiled.  "I'm glad I do, though.  If I had let my differences bother me and change me, I would never have met you, or Robby, or Rapunzel, or Eugene, or any of the other dolls that live here.  I would have missed out on so much."

I thought of all of the friends I'd made here at Beast'sbelle's house, and of how rich and full my life had been, aside from a few disagreements and misunderstandings with Beast'sbelle and the whole thing with Emilie.  But even that had helped me appreciate my daughter so much more.  Now that I was far away enough from the situation, I was able to see my own error in the scenario, and was mature enough to realize that that experience had given me a depth that I hadn't had before.  And the thought of never meeting Robby or Rapunzel or Emilie was too horrible to contemplate.

"I'm glad you decided to let us stay," I admitted, "but I still don't see how that helps me.  The fact that I can't sing isn't going to change the course of history."

"Not if you don't let it," Beast'sbelle said.  "But Belle, I've watched you struggle with this from the beginning.  You're so concerned about your voice that you've let it steal your joy.  You're always afraid to sing.  You're afraid what Robby might think if you do open up and sing to him.  You're constantly expecting others to judge you.  If you let that fear continue to motivate you, it will start to affect every aspect of your life until it drives you away from everyone you love."

I laughed.  "That's a little over-dramatic, don't you think?"

"What do you think?" she asked.

I was caught off guard.  "I...I don't know.  I don't see how this...I mean..."  Come to think of it, some of what she said did rather make sense.  "Maybe.." I finally mumbled.

There was a compassionate smile on Beast'sbelle's face.  "I know it's not easy, Belle.  Being different never is.  But if we were all the same, think how boring things would be!"

She let this sink in for a moment before continuing.  "I also know that Robby and your other friends love you for you.  Whether you can sing or not isn't going to make a difference to them.  And you're a Disney Princess doll!  You were made to sing, even if you don't sing the way you wish you could."

As I continued to mull this over, Beast'sbelle reached into her pocket.  "This is why I came to see you.  I forgot that I picked this up for you on my trip."  She held out her hand.  It was a guitar.

I took it from her and gave her a rather blank look.  "Um, what is this for?"

She grinned.  "Well, sometimes when you aren't blessed in one area, you can shine in another.  I thought you might like to try your hand at an instrument.  There are plenty of ways to make music, you know."

"What makes you think I'll be any better at this than singing?" I asked skeptically.  

"I don't know that you will," she answered simply.  "But sometimes it's fun to try something new."

She reached into her pocket again, pulled out her cell phone, and glanced at it.  "Well, I've got to go pick up the girls from school.  We'll be running errands and taking Oldest Gal to AWANA, so we won't be back until after dinner.  Think about what I said, okay?"

I nodded, so distracted by the millions of thoughts spinning through my head that I forgot to say goodbye.

I cautiously put the guitar strap over my shoulder and strummed a few notes.  It sounded awful.  I shivered and started to put the guitar aside.  But something stopped me.  

For the rest of the afternoon and into the evening, I sat and strummed and adjusted, and strummed and adjusted, and strummed some more.  By the end of the day, I could pick out a tune.  It was simple, but it was a tune...and it stayed on key!!  The best part was that using the guitar to make music gave me the same joy that singing should.  Maybe Beast'sbelle was right...maybe I could do this.  And maybe singing off key wasn't the most horrible thing in the world.

Road Blocks and Frustrations

Ugh.  My grand schemes to sing to Robby have not been going so well, which is why you haven't heard much from me.  My plans require the exclusive use of Beast'sbelle's living room, and with all of the human comings and goings, it hasn't worked out the way I hoped.  The good news is, I had a chance to express my frustration to Beast'sbelle last night.  She promised to help me work things out once she gets back from her retreat this weekend.

More later...I've got to go for now.  I promise I haven't forgotten my "Elegant Blogger Award", either.  Sigh.  So behind... :(

A Little More Information

Hello, everyone!  Sorry to leave you hanging for so long.  If it makes you feel any better, I've been going crazy these past couple of weeks, too.  Ben and I never crossed paths, and after my embarrassment I explained in my last post, I wasn't about to go poking around for clues about his mysterious friend.

I did admit my nosiness to my husband, by the way.  As I expected, he was more amused than annoyed, but he definitely made it clear that he did not find such behavior acceptable.  Rats.  So much for asking him to give me a boost over the shelf.  Kidding...I'm only kidding! :}

My first glimmer of information came today.  Rapunzel happened to overhear Ben calling his new companion.  Her name is Paige.  Rather an odd name for a Belle doll, I thought.  But Rapunzel, who is considerably more knowledgeable about her Disney trivia, pointed out that the actress who played Belle was named Paige O'Hara.  That makes sense, I guess...especially if Beast'sbelle is the one who named her.  She's always trying to come up with clever names to tell us apart.  I suppose it would be rather confusing if all of us just went by "Belle". ;)

I wish I had more to report, but that's all I have time for at the moment.  I'll be sure to clue you in if I find out anything else.  I'm hoping to have a chance to talk to Ben.  There would certainly be no harm in asking a few innocent questions between friends, right?

Oh, and I've been practicing a little song for Robby.  It's nothing much, but at least it's something.  Rapunzel has promised to help me plan a special evening for my song.  I want everything to be perfect, a romantic evening just like in the movies.  I'm tentatively planning for late next week, providing I don't lose my nerve. :}  I'll keep you posted on that as well.

I guess that's about it for now...I just didn't want to leave you hanging too long.  More to come in the next week! :)

In Which Nosiness Gets Me Into Trouble

Well, so much for my clever plan to blog more frequently in these last few months!  I'm sorry if I've disappointed you.  I promise I'll try to be better!

The good news is that you really didn't miss much. :}  Things have been very quiet since we got back from our vacation at the beginning of the month.  Beast'sbelle has been scrambling around everywhere with school preparations.  Now, even though school has started, she's still been running in all directions.  I think she's still getting used to the new schedule.  I know that some of the 18 inchers have been feeling rather neglected, but I personally find it a relief to have some time to ourselves without Beast'sbelle supervising our every move. :}

Nothing really exciting happened until yesterday.  I suppose "exciting" isn't quite the right word..."embarrassing" is more like it.  But I'm getting ahead of the story... 

Yesterday, Robby and Eugene agreed to watch all of the children so Rapunzel and I could have some "grown-up" time together without being interrupted every few minutes. ;)  It had been ages since we'd had a chance to visit together, so I was very excited!  I got my tea set all ready and waited eagerly for the arrival of my best friend.

I didn't have to wait long.  I think Rapunzel was just as eager to see me as I was to see her.  Maybe she was even more eager...she was the one with four kids! ;)

"Welcome, Madame," I said in my best French accent (which was pretty lousy).  "Won't you please have a seat?  The tea will be served shortly."

Rapunzel laughed.  "But of course," she responded in her own French accent (which was considerably more elegant than my own).  She gave a graceful curtsy. 

And that pretty much ended our attempts at sophistication.  Giggling like school girls, we plopped down in our comfy chairs and I served the tea.  We talked about everything from weather to marriage to parenting.

"Do you feel like you've fully adjusted to having four kids?" I asked her after a while.

She gave me a funny little smile.  "I think so.  It's definitely gotten easier than it was at first.  Every day brings a new surprise or set of challenges...but I wouldn't trade my children for anything!"

I was glad to hear that Rapunzel was happy with their decision to expand their family.  I had worried that she might have been taking on more than she was ready for.  I guess I needed to stop underestimating her capabilities. :}

"And what about you and Robby?" she asked.  "Do you think you'll ever add to your family?"

I looked down at my teacup.  "Um...we haven't really discussed it," I said hesitantly.  "I think I might enjoy having one more child someday.  It would be good for Emilie to have a sibling so she could learn about sharing and such."  I looked off into the distance.  "I've noticed how sweet Eugene is with Thomas and I've wondered if Robby has any desire for a son of his own.  But I'm almost scared to ask him.  I don't want him to think that I'm ready right at this moment..."

Rapunzel patted my hand reassuringly.  "I'm sure he would be understanding.  It might be good for you to get it out in the open, though.  Then you won't have to keep sitting there wondering what he thinks."

I gave a sheepish little laugh.  "I know," I admitted.  "You'd think I'd have learned some of this after a year of marriage."

"None of us are perfect," Rapunzel said with a wink.  

"I've missed this so much!" I blurted out suddenly.  "Just sitting and talking with you like this...it feels like it's been forever!"

"I have, too," Rapunzel agreed.  "Our lives were much less complicated before marriage and kids.  I wouldn't change a thing, though...except for a few more chances to chat with you, of course."

By this time, I'd finished my tea, so I got up to refill my cup.  I happened to glance up...and what I saw made me do a double take.  I froze in my place.

"Rapunzel," I whispered.  "You won't believe this!"

Off in the distance, on top of the white shelf, I saw Ben...with a Belle doll.  And they looked quite comfortable with each other...comfortable as in cuddly.  Well, at least it seemed that way.  It was too far for me to be sure.

"What is it, Belle?" my friend asked, looking at me as if I'd lost my mind.

I shushed her and signaled for her to follow me.

We crept over to the end of the room, and I leaned against the white shelf, trying to get a closer look.

It was still hard to see clearly, but they looked like they were in earnest conversation.

"Belle," Rapunzel started in her normal voice.  

I quickly put a finger to my lips.  

"What are we doing?" she whispered.  "And why are we whispering?"

"It's Ben and a Belle doll I don't recognize," I whispered excitedly.  "I'm trying to see what's going on.  I think I'll climb up on the dresser to get a better view."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Rapunzel asked.

I didn't pay attention.  I was too busy climbing.  "Oh, they're definitely holding hands," I shared, finding it difficult to keep my voice down in my excitement.  Had Ben finally found someone he was interested in?  But who was she?  I remembered seeing him with someone a while back, but I couldn't tell if it was the same doll.  If I could just get a little closer...

"I really think you should get down now," Rapunzel urged from behind me.  

"Just a minute," I said softly.  "I'm just going to change my footing a bit..."

I never got to finish my sentence.  The moment I moved my foot, I felt myself losing my balance.

The world was suddenly in slow motion as I fell back through empty air.  I vaguely heard Rapunzel gasping from behind me.

Then there was a horrible clatter, and the next thing I knew, I was sprawled out on top of Rapunzel.  My coffee table was overturned and the tea set was strewn all over the floor next to us.

"Oof," Rapunzel groaned from underneath me.  "I don't think this was your best idea."

I sat up as quickly as I could, my embarrassment setting in now that I'd gotten over the shock of what had happened.  Rapunzel grabbed one of the coffee table legs and pulled herself up.

"So," she said with a grin, "that went well."

"Um, yeah...not the smartest thing I've ever done," I said quickly, wishing I could sink into the floor and disappear.  At least I knew that Rapunzel was too nice to go on and on about it.  I turned and looked at her.  "Please don't tell Robby," I begged.  "You know how he is about matchmaking."

"I know how you are about matchmaking.  I'm surprised you actually let yourself do that."

I groaned.  "Please, I'm embarrassed enough already."

Rapunzel gave me a gentle smile.  "I won't say anything more.  Just one request."

"What's that?" I asked.

"Could you please get off of my legs?"

"Oh!" I exclaimed, my cheeks flaming.  "I'm so sorry!"  I jumped up to my feet.

Rapunzel rubbed her legs.  "It's okay."  She looked over at her braid.  "It's going to take me a while to get my hair untangled from this coffee table leg."  She slid into the nearest chair and started unwinding her hair, strand by strand.    

I put the coffee table back in its place and started picking up the tea set.  Thankfully, we'd finished our tea and amazingly, most of the tea had stayed in the teapot.  The tea that had spilled didn't even show (thank goodness for dark brown floors!).

Rapunzel had just come around to help me pick things up when I heard a familiar voice behind me. 

"Is everything okay up here?" Robby asked, concern in his voice.  "We heard a really big crash."

Oh, perfect, I thought.  I wonder who else heard us?  I forced a smile onto my features.  "We're fine," I assured him.  "I just accidentally knocked over the coffee table."

I was a horrible liar.  Robby didn't say anything, but I could tell he thought there was more to the story.  Thankfully he didn't press me for the truth.

Rapunzel and I busied ourselves with cleaning up the table.  I hoped that Robby would be convinced that we were okay and go back to watching the kiddos.

But I wasn't so lucky; my humiliation was far from over.  Yet another familiar voice suddenly came from above us.

"Is everything all right down here?  There was a horrible noise.  I thought someone might need medical assistance."  

Of course he heard too.  How could I have been foolish enough to think that Ben wouldn't hear us falling?  I was amazed that Beast'sbelle wasn't coming in to check on us from the living room.

"Um, thanks, but we're fine.  Just a little altercation with the coffee table," I said, giving him what I hoped looked like an innocent smile.  Oh, please just let me fall off the face of the earth right now!

I must have convinced him, because with a curt little nod, he left us to finish our cleanup.

"Well, I suppose if Ben's given you the okay, there's nothing I should worry about," Robby said, his eyes twinkling.  "I should get back down there and make sure Eugene's surviving with all the kids."

We laughed at his little joke and waved as he turned and began his slow descent down the shelf.

When we were finally alone again, I sunk into one of the chairs and rubbed my head with one hand.  "Oh dear, what have I gotten myself into?  I've never been so embarrassed in my life."

"It's not that bad, Belle," Rapunzel assured me.

I sighed.  "I'm going to have to tell Robby."

"I'm sure he'll be understanding."

"He'll probably find it amusing," I said with annoyance.

"Better than being angry," Rapunzel pointed out.

I had to admit she was right.  It was just going to be so mortifying admitting what had really happened.  Robby was always very patient, but sometimes that made my "confessions" even worse.

"Well, I should probably get going," Rapunzel said reluctantly.  Then she winked.  "I suppose we've gotten into enough trouble for one day."

I blushed. 

My friend gave me a hug.  "I'll try to get a chance to talk to Ben and see if I can figure out the scoop," she told me with a sneaky little grin.

I laughed.  "You're as bad as I am...admit it!"

Rapunzel put on an innocent face.  "There's nothing wrong with a little friendly chat with a neighbor."  And with a final wave, she disappeared over the edge of our curio home.

I sat in my spot after she left, dreading the fact that I'd have to come clean about my idiocy to Robby, yet fighting the temptation to climb back on the dresser to get another look at Ben's lady friend. :}

As silly as I was, at the heart of everything was an honest desire to see Ben happy.  Perhaps this new Belle was the one who would allow him to finally move past Marguerite.  But who was she?  When did they meet?  And what on earth changed in Ben to make him suddenly open to, if nothing else, an extremely close friendship?  I couldn't wait to find out!

Our Family Vacation

Well, we're finally back home from our first family vacation! :)  As I mentioned in my last post, Beast'sbelle invited Robby, Emilie and me to go with her family on their coastal vacation.  Robby and I were so excited to take Emilie back to the place where we'd spent our honeymoon.

We traveled in our own bag in the trunk this time around, so it was such a relief to arrive and be freed from our captivity!

We all enjoyed a good stretch as soon as the humans were out of sight.

This chair was our home for the week.  A bit crowded since we had to share it with Alice, one of Mama's 18 inchers.  She was really nice about it, though, and she often left to spend time with her sisters, so it wasn't as bad as it could have been.

As I started writing this post, I realized how few pictures I had from our trip.  To be honest, it was rather nice to slip beneath Beast'sbelle's radar for a while and just have some time to ourselves.    

She did get this one picture of us on Trinidad Beach.  As you can see, the sand was quite deep for us!  We spent a lot of time resting and playing in the sand on this beach.  It was simply too difficult for Robby to get around.

We also spent some time at one of our favorite beaches, Moonstone Beach.  We didn't make it back to Samoa this year.  Maybe next time around. ;)

Robby and I sat and listened to the waves contentedly...

...while Emilie made castles in the sand.  It was so fun seeing her first reactions to sand and ocean waves.  She couldn't stop giggling and laughing.  I've never seen her so happy. :)  

After a while, Robby was a good daddy and let Emilie and me bury him in the sand.

He was completely covered with sand when we were through... 

...but he was a good sport about it.

Emilie thought her Daddy looked pretty funny. 

The water was much shallower on this beach, so we enjoyed taking a walk together.  I kept my eye on Robby the whole time, though (without being obvious about it, of course...I didn't want to embarrass him).  I wanted to make sure he didn't overdo.

There's not much more to share, really.  Aside from our two beach days, we spent most of our time at the house, relaxing and playing with Emilie.  It was absolutely heavenly.   

And speaking of our daughter, she got the sweetest little souvenir from our trip.  I had asked Beast'sbelle to keep her eye out for something fun for Emilie, and she did.  At a local toy store, she found this adorable little animal set:

Emilie has played with it constantly since she got it.  Which has been wonderful, because it's taken me almost two days to get our clothing all unpacked and free from sand! :}  

We had a wonderful time together and I feel refreshed and ready to get back to reality now. ;)  

Well, a rather bare-bones account of our trip, I know, but I hope you enjoyed it just the same.  I'll be back with more news as it comes along. :)