Friday, October 28, 2011

Belle's Bulletins: My First Post (A Former Post from "Jane Austen and Unicorns")


Hello everyone. I'm so grateful to Tess and Maggie for graciously allowing me to be a part of their blog. I realize I didn't handle things very well...I should have come to them first before I just started typing. Maggie and I definitely got off on the wrong foot. I'm hoping that in time I'll be able to prove to her that I am trustworthy and a friend worth having. Anyway, this is the post I was working on when they discovered me at the computer. I hope you like it.

I don't know what to do. I feel like I'll completely lose it if I can't let out what I'm feeling. Things have been so crazy since "beast'sbelle" let me out of my box. I have nowhere to go, no one to talk to. Okay, that's not exactly accurate, but I'm just having a hard time opening up to the others.

Do you have any idea how weird it is to live in a house with 12 or more versions of yourself? At least, that's what they're supposedly supposed to be. We're all as different as night and day. Nevertheless, it's kind of creeping me out!

You have no idea the high expectations others have for you when you're a movie doll. People expect me to be just like Belle in "Beauty and the Beast". Well, I hate to break it to you folks, but I'm not at all like her! It would be nice if I was! My life would be a lot simpler.

For one thing, I'm not French. I'm not from France, I don't speak French, and I'm really not all that crazy about their food. Give me an American cheeseburger and fries any day over some fancy French meal that costs way too much for the tiny amount of food that ends up on your plate. Let's see, I know "Bonjour" and "Merci", but that's about it. I love French accents, though! I wish I could talk like that.

For another thing, I can't dance to save my life. Kind of a crucial part in "Beauty and the Beast". You know, the romantic waltz towards the end? If it had been me in the movie, the romance would have ended right there, because I would have stepped on the Beast's toe and then made him laugh with my horrendous attempt at gracefulness.

Then there's the whole singing thing. I'm pretty much tone deaf, or so I've been told by the other toys and dolls around me at the Disney Store. At night, when the store was closed, we used to have these store-wide sing-alongs. They play Disney music all day, so we all had almost every song memorized. There were always votes on the best and worst for the night.

I was always the worst...every night. It doesn't do too much for one's self esteem.

I really don't understand it. Almost all of the other dolls could sing nearly as well as the characters they were made to look like. I don't know what happened at the factory the day I was made, but something went haywire.

Now I'm here at beast'sbelle's house with 12 other Belle dolls (plus countless Belle and Beast figurines, snow globes, and other things), and they all sing beautifully. They actually all sing together at least once a week. You can imagine how horrible that first sing was for me. Here it was all over again. "Wow, you've got...quite a...um...voice, there" or "You sure don't uh...hear a voice like that every day, do you?" and "Are you sure you're really a Disney Princess doll?"

Of the Belle dolls here, 5 of us are out of our boxes. Then there's a Beast doll that transforms into a Prince and another Prince doll (they're both together with other Belles, so don't get your hopes up on any matchmaking schemes). :} Of all of the open dolls, I'm the one with the most freedom, because one is up on top of beast'sbelle's bookshelf, and the others are in her curio cabinet. It gets pretty stuffy in there, or so I'm told. So, the bottom line is, everyone kind of has a chip on their shoulder when it comes to me. The boxed dolls are annoyed that I just got taken out of my box and can now move around and even change outfits. The deboxed dolls are cranky because I can come and go as I please without attracting too much attention, while they're stuck where they are until everyone is gone or asleep.

Then, beast'sbelle just broke the news to me today that she's deciding which Beast/Prince doll will work the best for me. I guess they've got them in stock at Wal-Mart and she thinks one of them would be just right for me. Hello, can we say "arranged marriage", anyone? What if she picks some Prince doll with a Gaston complex? I don't know if I can go through with it.

Well, that's all I have the energy for now. I'll let you know if things get any better. Any suggestions you have would be greatly appreciated!!!


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